I've realized that I am horribly awkward in real life.

I tried making a video blog today. My thought was that other people had gained a lot of fame by "vlogging" and if they could do it, why couldn't I? Well, there are several reasons why...

1. I am not that interesting. People prefer to be entertained when they watch a vlogger, not bored to tears.

2. I am not charismatic. In fact, every time I tried to start a video, I just became really awkward and proceeded to stutter until my own judgements of myself caught up to me and I just started screaming and naming objects that I could reach without leaving the view of the camera. There's only so many times a viewer wants to watch me yell "CHAPSTICK! UKULELE! KEYS! MOOCOW CAT!" and I exceeded that number within the first thirty seconds of my video.

3. I have a cat with the uncanny ability to know when the camera is running. This knowledge always prompts him to walk past the camera so that his tail crosses the screen several times before I am finished with the mediocre story that I am telling.

4. I tell mediocre stories. Seriously, I have no reason to vlog. I was going to spend four minutes talking about the check I received in the mail from my school. Why would anyone want to hear about that? That's right; they wouldn't. I actually shouldn't even be blogging, and the fact that you're spending the time necessary to read this tripe is a testament to your lack of a life. Be ashamed.

5. I may or may not know how to edit a video (with a little more emphasis on the may not). I tried using iMovies on my iMac. Let me just start by saying that I shouldn't be allowed around sophisticated computer programs. I don't know how I did it, but after "editing" my video, it was somehow worse than it was in the first place.

In short, it's probably best for society if I just stick to good, old-fashioned blogging. Ok, it'd probably be best for society if I just disconnected myself from the rest of civilization and joined an Amish community, but how would that help me succeed in becoming famous? It wouldn't, and that would be unacceptable.