I may have been poisoned by a bear

I am unable to fall asleep. I know, it's like noon. I shouldn't be asleep anyway right now, but let me defend my ambitions. I woke up at 5:30 this morning. And I haven't been able to go back to sleep. And its making me cranky. I tried counting things in my head but all that did was make me wonder if I have OCD. I also tried listening to peaceful music like this, but it hasn't helped because I started fantasizing about Rick Astley's ginger balls. I even tried taking a bunch of Tylenol PM and drinking a bottle of Jack Daniel's, but that didn't knock me out either. So I've resigned myself to staying up all day and hopefully passing out in time to get a decent night's sleep before work tomorrow.

On a lighter note, I may have the plague. My eye started bleeding yesterday. That was pretty cool. My friends all say it was probably just a broken blood vessel, but none of them are medically trained, and I know the symptoms of the plague when I see them. So if you never hear from me again, that's probably why. And here I thought I'd be killed by a grizzly bear. Although it was probably a bear that gave me the plague, because bears have been known to develop some pretty intense biological weapons. Those little rascals!


For more information on bears and how to recognize a bear, please refer to this article by Allie Brosh.

Now, I've got about a gallon of coffee to drink so that I won't be tempted to fall asleep at the wheel of my car. Later kids.

EDIT: No, I didn't actually mix alcohol and tylenol. Have a little more faith in me than that.

EDIT: Yes, I did mean to Rick Roll you. You're welcome.