Send me junk. Like furniture and cookies.

It’s getting warm out here in Montana (and for you Ohio kids, I mean that it’s finally hit 80°. Yeah, be jealous). I start my training at Target tomorrow, and I’m pretty excited about having something to do during the day. My cat seems to be calmer than before, but he’s also settling into a routine that involves waking me up around 5:00 in the morning so that I can give him some catnip. That’s right, my cat is a junkie and he needs his fix. Wanna fight about it?

Roommates and I are still without most furniture (TVs, couches, bedframes, etc) so if any of you want to give us things like TVs, couches, bedframes, etc. feel free to send them to my address. If you don’t know my address, it just means that either I haven’t given it to you, or you’re just not cool enough to spontaneously know it.

And just so you know, you don’t have to send me furniture or other objects that are too big to fit in a mailbox. You can also send me cookies and/or hate mail if you feel so inclined. And in return, I will take pictures of myself and the people around me eating said cookies or reading said hate mail and post them on this blog, and you will get a warm fuzzy feeling when you see me and Roommates sitting on the floor of our living room (because you haven’t sent us a couch yet):

Yeah, feel guilty about this. My watch is SWEET isn’t it?

Oh, guess what? I have friends. Real Montana friends! I know, it’s weird. There are people out there who want to hang out with me, and talk to me, and drink alcohol with me? I never would’ve guessed it either. But I guess you will just have to get used to the fact that I am an amiable person who is perfectly capable of having a relationship with something other than a pet rock. 

In fact, I’m kind of insulted by your assumption that I would remain a lonely hermit for the rest of my life, spending my days conversing with the occasional squirrel that finds its way to my log cabin and knitting socks out of pine needles and cobwebs.

Actually, I am so offended by your assurance that I am undeserving of human contact and by the fact that you still haven’t sent me a couch, that I would prefer it if you didn’t talk to me anymore. But don’t let that stop you from visiting my blog or sending me stuff.

Anyways. Later.

UPDATE: I got these in the mail yesterday. Thanks Jessica!